Britain’s Got Talent, ITV1

Did we like it?
Not much. The old and young were patronised, the mentally ill were ridiculed and even the star of the night didn’t shine very brightly.

What was good about it?
• Football juggling Jeremy and exotic bellydancer Sophie. Singer Dean Wilson wasn’t bad but certainly not so good that he deserved the standing ovation and unanimous approval from the judges.

What was bad about it?
• “The standard could only get higher, couldn’t it?” from Ant and Dec. We’re getting really fed up of this forced storytelling.
• Simon Cowell made a rare misjudgment, slagging off excellent Welsh singer Kay. It seemed he couldn;t cope with a song which wasn’t a bland ballad we’ve heard hundreds of times before. The audience were equally philistine. In a rare moment of good judgement, Piers Morgan gave them the thumbs up. (We were also upset that Kathryn got short shrift for her impression of Hi-Di-Hi’s Peggy).
• There’s not much fun to be had from seeing deluded grown-ups making fools of themselves on stage – so we could have done without the woman who “sang like a dog”, the hula hula Holiday halfwit, the toppling dancer etc.
• And we’re fed up with the slap-covered kids dancing around with hideous grins (although the Cheeky Monkey duo were fun – how did the little eight-year-old’s specs stay on?)
• The section featuring old folk getting applauded just for being old and getting through despite performing poor-quality acts (eg the strongman, the comic and the George Formby tribute act).
• Piers Morgan getting pathetic and defensive, and using the idiotic term “twerp”, when he was mocked by comedy couple the Dynamic Duo.


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